~ brakes for the lightweight rider ~
I have experienced what can only be described as a moment of pure genius in the form of a great epiphany regarding bicycle brakes.
As you may recall, I purchased a new bicycle this spring and the strong disc brakes made me consistently feel on the verge of propelling myself over the handlebars. After a number of crashes that resulted from the front brake locking up, I did some research about the possibility of "adjusting" the brakes to make them weaker. The modulation on the brakes was minimal - - if I depressed the brake lever a milimeter, I would brake some, and if I depressed the brake lever two milimeters, I would come to a screetching halt. After not having any luck with finding information on how to adjust the modulation on the brakes, I entered an online mountain biking forum and posed the question to some seasoned mountain bikers. Despite my over-articulation of the problem, my lack of mechanical knowledge most likely made the online dudes assume that I didn't know what I was describing. They insinuated that I didn't know the first thing about riding a bicycle and said that I needed to learn to control how much power I was exerting onto my brakes.
Since then, I have been reverting to riding beginner trails in order to "get used" to my strong brakes with no modulation. This has had varying degrees of success and has taken a lot of the joy out of biking for me. Perhaps there is something wrong with me, but I tend to not have much fun when I am overwhelmed with terror. As I have been going through the process of "getting used to my effed up brakes," I have been wondering about the responses that I got from those online mountain bike dudes. At the moment, I am wondering if perhaps THEY have never actually ridden a bicycle, and I have half an inclination to send them a piece of my mind. And I'm not going to because I expect that they would just make fun of me again.
As I see mountain biking, it is an activity that involves a lot of multitasking. When one is successfully mountain biking, one is constantly engaging in a variety of activities. One is ensuring the proper form, positioning, and balance upon one's bicycle. One is adjusting that form, position, and balance depending upon the conditions of the trail. One is always looking to the future, ahead on the trail, anticipating upcoming moves and reactions. One is being aware of other lifeform entities on the trail that might provoke the necessity of ninja-like reponses. And behind all of this, one must have an intuitive sense of the physics involved in mountain biking. Mountain biking is not, as opposed to what those online mountain biking assholes were implying, merely an exercise in using one's brakes. Brake usage is one of many many facets to the mountain biking experience, and while it is true that one must have good control over one's brakes, one must have control over the entire operation of the bicycle. There is so much going on with mountain biking that it is ridiculous to have to exert so much of one's mental energy on one's brakes, making sure to depress the brake lever one milimeter instead of two - - such focus on the brakes not only requires one to take one's focus away from other aspects of the mountain biking experience, but it also makes mountain biking much less fun. And I ask you, what is the point of mountain biking if it is not fun?
The process of "getting used to my effed up brakes" has seemed like an exercise in futility, as I have continued to crash over and over and over. Slowly, I have been able to understand that the fault is not entirely my own. Granted, there has been plenty of rider errors involved, but I firmly believe that much of the rider error has been the ultimate result of me riding in a state of tense unease and fright, rather than calm and relaxed as is important in mountain biking. Nevertheless, I have been extremely frustrated that there is no "adjustment" to make on disc brakes. Part of the problem in this experience is my lack of alternatives. The market is saturated with disc brakes and it is near-to-impossible to find a full suspension bike with v-brakes anymore. Also, my particular bike has a specific geometry that is prohibitive to installing a v-brake compatible fork. So, while I have longed for the weaker v-brakes on my old hardtail bike, my options have been limited to simply getting different disc brakes. And I have had zero interest in that option.
In a sense, I understand why disc brakes might be popular with some people. However, the reasoning behind disc brakes does not apply to my situation. If disc brakes are ideal in wet locations, that rationale is voided for my riding in the parched desert. If disc brakes are ideal for people who have trouble getting enough braking power from v-brakes, that rationale is voided because I have never had too little braking power with my v-brakes. Disc brakes are heavy and expensive and they make all kinds of horrible squealing noises, yet if one mentions to 99% of the mountain biking population one's favor for v-brakes, one will face a barrage of ridicule.
Despite the total lack of adjustment properties to disc brakes, Josh took up the mission of fixing my brakes, and after consulting with some bike mechanics, carved some deep grooves into my brake pads. With my limited understanding of the way that disc brakes work, the flat and smooth surface of the brake pads grab onto the rotor, so the act of destroying the surface of the pads was aimed at reducing the pads' ability to grab onto the rotor, thereby reducing braking power. This worked well and has made a big difference in my feeling on the verge of flying over the handlebars, however, because this is apparently an unheard of procedure (trying to lessen one's braking power), Josh was fairly conservative in his destroying of the brake pads.
So then, about a month ago, I was riding along one of the easiest stretches of trail on the Boise front. For whatever reason, possibly the knowledge that I was riding on an easy section of trail, I wasn't paying complete attention to what I was doing. Randomly, as I was riding over a hump, I grabbed my brakes hard and flipped up and over. This was by far the more beautiful crashing experience, as I flew upside down farther than I ever have before. And it was absolutely and completely 100% my fault that I crashed. As I have been rehabilitating my knee, doing less dangerous activities like road biking, I have been pondering this crash quite a bit, reinforcing to myself over and over the importance of paying full attention to what one is doing when mountain biking. At the same time, I remember very distinctly how quickly and securely my front brake immediately locked up. And I know that I would have crashed if I had had weaker v-brakes, because I simply deployed my brakes when I absolutely should not have, but still.
Since all of this crashing started, I've begun to develop a relatively high level of anxiety with regards to more intermediate and advanced trails. For example, there is this one section of Trail Four that, as it turns to the left, is sandy and washed out, with ruts and a washboard effect, and is off-camber and slopes towards a cliff. And I have vehemently avoided riding on this trail at all costs because of how terrified I was feeling about it. Just by thinking about riding on that section of trail, with the fear of my brakes, I would develop such a high level of anxiety that I would feel sick to my stomach. Which is a good example of how fear can take the fun out of mountain biking, because I cannot tell you how many numerous times I have ridden down that section of trail with absolutely no problems.
The other day, while Josh and I were doing some maintenance on my bike, Josh removed the front brake pads and proceeded to further destroy their surface with the intent to weaken them a lot more. By the time that he was done, the front brake was so weak that the wheel could still move with the front brake fully engaged. And this was exactly the way that I wanted it to be. Yesterday, I went on a mountain bike ride with these new wonderfully crappy disc brakes, and there was not a single moment when I felt the possibility of flying over the bars. Even as I was riding down some moderately steep terrain, I was able to brake like it was normal and all was perfect! I cannot begin to articulate how amazingly relieved and happy I am about this! My front brake is weak and crappy and I feel that I can live again, finding the joy again in mountain biking!
It has taken me this long in this blog to get to the flash of pure genius that I experienced. As I was riding down the mountain, employing my brakes in a way that was comfortable to me, I was pondering how I simply don't need strong brakes. Period. Even with my weakened brakes, I was confident that I would be able to come to a full stop when needed. And as I was pondering this, I gave some thought to the size and weight of most mountain bikers in relation to myself. Now, even though there are quite a number of female mountain bikers, mountain biking remains a predominantely male sport. And males tend to be bigger and weigh more than females. And as I was considering this, I thought about how I weigh a little over 100 pounds. And since my bike weighs about 25 pounds, this means that I only weigh four times more than my bike. And if you add a few pounds for water and some gear, this means that there is only about 140ish pounds for my brakes to bring under control. Compare this to a male who weighs 160-180 (is that an averageish weight for a male???) with an average bike weight of 25-30 pounds, and suddenly the ratio of rider to bike weight is a lot greater, and there is a lot more total weight for the brakes. If you were to place Josh and I on equal weighted bikes and have us ride down a hill, there is absolutely no question that Josh would travel much faster than I. You know, gravity. In this way, it doesn't take a physics master to understand that the heavier a person is, the stronger braking power they will need. As far as I am aware, brakes are not modified based upon the weight of the rider. There are brakes, and they are installed onto bikes irregardless of rider weight. So, one can imagine that if one takes a pair of brakes that have been tested to stop a 200 pound rider, that they might be too strong for a rider who weighs half as much. Therefore, there ought to be brakes available for the lightweight rider. If I am any example of other lightweight riders, I am a female participating in a predominantly male sport, and I perhaps don't have the same kind of no-fear attitude as my male counterparts, and I can be prone to feeling more scared and discouraged (and, gasp!, might consider selling my bike and engaging in less dangerous recreational activities) if I suffer a series of crashes and terrifying moments. And I have to wonder, if there is so much activity involved in developing women's specific equipment for mountain biking, why is it that there appears to be no move for women's specific brakes designed for the lightweight rider?